I might as well tell all of you at once, that way I can have a bunch of prayers going up all at once. I have a mass on my kidney.  It was found while investigating a menopausal change on an ultrasound. Anyway, on August 15th I will go to the urologist with my daughter and have my first consultation with him. It will have to be removed whether it is benign or cancer. I really don't know any more than that for now. I will be having a CAT scan and maybe a biopsy and then the surgery. It could very well be nothing, cometimes a mass is simply that, a mass. Pray for me, I still have a lot I need to do with all of you.

Love, Joanie

Doreen needs prayers.  Click on the post comment link below to send your prayers to her.

      I'd like to hear from those of you who have attended our BUNCO events.  Is this an event you'd like to continue to have?  What about you "first timers"...was this a good first time event, or do you think it's too wild and crazy?  Let me know your thoughts and share your experiences so others will know what to expect if they attend a Bunco event.  Attending an event for the first time can be scary.  Hopefully, by hearing from some of you who have been there, others will be more apt to attend.

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Watch a video on this historic event for equality:

Where do I begin?  This is a subject that many of you have probably had to deal with.  Statistics show that 1 out of 8 women get this.  Well, now I guess it's my turn.  I just found out a few weeks ago that I have breast cancer.  I feel some anxiety just typing the words "breast cancer."  That's something I've always heard others having to go through, but prayed it would never get me.  I guess I'm not invincible after all.    

I've gone through a lot of emotions already...shock, scare, nervous, anxious, and denial just to name a few.  I've also tried to stay on the positive side, to see this as an eye opening, life changing experience.  I know I will never view my life or myself the same, again.  I could probably compare this to when I experienced the death of my first husband when I was 20 years old.  I'm hoping this experience won't be quite as devasting, but in some ways it does still feel like a loss.  Loss of control over my body, loss of a part of my anatomy, and loss of things my mind use to think about before it started thinking about cancer.  I often times wonder what my mind thought of before this cancer thing came into my life, but it seems to think about this issue most of the time, now.  It's the first thing my mind thinks about when I wake up in the morning, and the first thing I think about when I lay my head on my pillow at night, and then let's not even talk about how often it enters my mind throughout the day.

I will journal my process as I go along in hopes that if anyone else has to deal with this, they will know that they are not alone, and there are others of us going through this as well.  I've heard that out of all the cancers, breast cancer is the easiest to beat, especially if you catch it early.  I'm hoping that's the case in my senario since it did not even show up on my mammogram.  I actually found the lump.  So, here's a great lesson to all you women out there.  DO NOT rely solely on your mammograms.  Do your self-examinations, look in the mirror, get very familiar with your breasts... how they look, their shape, the color of your skin, etc.  Personally, I first noticed a color change, very slight, but enough to make me feel around the area.

Since nothing showed on my mammogram, they decided to do an ultrasound, which did show something.  The next step was a biopsy, which was not pleasant.  Normally, it should be simple, but the doctor I had evidently didn't know what he was doing and didn't get me completely numb.  Therefore, it was rather painful, but I survived.  Almost passed out, but made it through after they tilted me back for awhile and gave me some juice.  My body just didn't like the pain.

I met with my surgeon Beth Dayton, who came highly recommended.  I'll let you know if she's any good after I'm done with this whole ordeal.  She said at best I will be having a lumpectomy and doing radiation for 7 weeks / 5 days a week.  Ugh!!  But first, she wants me to have an MRI, which is scheduled for January 2nd.  I have to have a contrast MRI, which means they shoot some dye in my body through a needle.  Not looking forward to it.  Since the lump doesn't show up on the mammogram, my surgeon wants the MRI to see if she can see more of what's going on before she cuts me open.  She wants to know if this is just a tiny lump in early stages or if it's just the tip of an iceberg.  I'm hoping for tiny.

I could use all the prayers, mantras, chants, positive energy, whatever you can send my way to help me through this.  I have a tendency to think the worse, but I'm trying to do things differently (it's not easy).  I know positive thoughts within myself can make a big difference on my process. 

If you'd like to add your comments, share your experiences, etc. I'd love to hear from you.  Or, if you want to keep things more personal, you can email me directly.

In Spirit ~ Kim
P.S. Click on the "## comments" link below this sentence to get the most recent information.

This time of year can be stressful, and we can lose site of what this season is all about.  I know I can easily get lost in all of the things I feel I HAVE to get done, and I don't stop to think about what's really important, and that is family and friends.  Remember to take time to breathe and to focus on the relationships we have with others in our life.  When you feel yourself getting irritated at the traffic, and the over-crowded stores...try to slow down and relax.  Take in that deep breath, then release it, and focus on living in the moment and enjoying life.  We all know how short life can be.  Release that tense jaw, meditate for 15 minutes each morning as you awake to remind yourself where you want your energy to be, and take this time to show your loved ones just how important they are to you.  Appreciate them, experience them, cherish them.

There was an incident in Albany related to a hate crime against a lesbian couple.  Here's what's happening...

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I have been leading Lavender Womyn for just over three years now, and one thing that I often get emails about is from women who have recently discovered they are gay, or who have known they were gay, yet are married to a man and often times have children.  These women feel alone, scared, trapped, and just really don't know what to do.  I know there are many of you who have been through this senario, and each of you have had different experiences and end results.  If you'd like to share your story to hopefully help and encourage others in their difficult time, please feel free to do so. ~ Kim